Wednesday, December 3, 2008

For 1, it’s Wedding, Round 2

This post is somewhat personal, but I figure if I am sharing not only my wedding planning experiences with you, but also some details of our relationship, I should talk a little bit about our pasts.

I mentioned it briefly in a previous post, that Ted has been married before. I don’t want to delve into the details of his previous relationship, and feel I wouldn’t give a very biased view of things ;) They were married for a few years, and suffice to say, it didn’t work out. They also have 2 children. He has been divorced for over 6 years.

When we first started dating, it didn’t really bother me. If you remember, we were friends for awhile before we started dating, so there really was nothing to “hide”. I guess you could say, on the surface, I knew what I was getting myself into, but it really is so much more that just that. Relationships are hard enough as it is, let alone throwing in 2 kids and an ex-wife. Priorities are different. Dynamics change. Sometimes, I was a pretty selfish girlfriend, and that just does not work when there are little ones to consider. There were times when I would get upset because I felt like the kids were taking time away from Ted & I being together (I know, it’s horrible, but I am just being honest.). I would get annoyed and resentful. Especially when it came to his ex-wife. Talking to my mom was so helpful, as she told me to relax and just ENJOY the time we have with them. They are only little once, so why get bent out of shape when you could be having fun?

It was the first time I’d ever dated anyone with kids and it wasn’t (and still isn’t, as anyone with kids knows!) always easy, but we have all managed to raise 2 pretty great kids. We are to the point where neither one of them remember me NOT being there, as A was 4 and J was 2. His ex-wife and I actually get along very well. We all see each other or are together quite a bit, so it is just easier to get along…or if I’m in a bad mood, to fake it :) It makes Ted’s life a lot easier, and that is what is important to me.

While there are low times when I wish that we didn’t have to “deal” with all of this, I love Ted (& everything that comes with him) more than anything in this world. We are so close and genuinely enjoy spending our time and lives together. I can’t imagine going through my days and nights with anyone else. We’ve made the decision to do this together and we are committed to doing the best we can for the two of us and our new family.

My darling Theodore and I at our friends wedding in the Tuscan countryside (talk about an amazing wedding!)

No comments: